Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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