Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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