i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
where does the pee come out of this thing
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
