so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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