The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
