i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
