What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
