She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
