Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
