we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
