i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
