I want to make a zoo with you.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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