I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
