it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
