i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
