on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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