College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
