Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
