I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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