By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm at about main and main street
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
