ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
