CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
