i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
