im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize