His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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