Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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