Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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