went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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