Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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