I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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