Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
