You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
