yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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