I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize