the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Pappa wants mamma naked
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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