whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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