About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I need a burrito and a hug.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
