This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
