A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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