he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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