So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
