He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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