Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
