Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
