I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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