trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize