Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
