I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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