kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
