Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
