Im at strip club and am horny
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
