just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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