Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
