Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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