Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
