She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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