well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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