and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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