there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
