another moral hangover. fuck.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
