what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i would one night stand the shit outta him
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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