There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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