Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
