we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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