we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
